210+ Train Puns and Jokes 

All aboard the giggle express! If you’ve ever found yourself smiling at a clever pun or chuckling at a corny joke, you’re in for a real treat. Today, we’re diving full steam ahead into the world of train puns and jokes. From silly one-liners to laugh-out-loud locomotion wordplay, these jokes are perfect for kids, adults, and anyone who loves a good chuckle.

Whether you’re a trainspotter, a dad-joke collector, or someone who just likes having pun with words (see what I did there?), you’re gonna love this collection. So grab your ticket, find a comfy seat, and let’s chug through 210+ rail-riot jokes together. Warning: some of these are so bad, they’re trainwrecks—but in the best possible way.

Let’s get this pun party on the rails!

Track-Tastic Train Puns to Get You Rolling

You don’t need a conductor’s license to appreciate these. They’re just silly, fun, and easy to remember.

• I’m loco for locomotives.
• This train of thought has officially derailed.
• I choo-choo-choose you!
• Stay on track or get steamrolled.
• She had a one-track mind—about snacks.
• That joke went off the rails real quick.
• I tried to be punctual, but the train had other plans.
• Don’t mind me—I’m just freightfully funny.
• Train jokes? I’ve got loads of them.
• Keep calm and rail on.

Jokes That’ll Keep You Chugging Along

Need a quick laugh? These short, punchy jokes will keep the good vibes going.

• Why don’t trains ever get lost? They always follow their tracks.
• What did the train say to the caboose? Stop following me!
• Why was the train so good at sports? It knew how to stay on track.
• What do you call a train that eats too much? A chew-chew train!
• Why did the train break up with the station? It needed more space.
• How do trains apologize? With a heartfelt chug.
• What’s a train’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
• What happens when a train sneezes? It choo-choos!
• Why are trains great at art? They’re masters of line work.
• What’s a ghost train’s favorite ride? The boo-llet train.

Express Yourself with These Puns

Sometimes, all it takes is a good pun to brighten your day—or someone else’s.

• This pun is expressly for you.
• I’m not just a train fan—I’m tracktional.
• That idea really gained steam.
• Don’t blow your stack—stay on track.
• I’m rail-y into this.
• This pun is full of loco-motion.
• Just riding this pun train till it stops.
• You’ve got that steam-powered charm.
• Take a brake and laugh a little.
• Let’s make tracks and keep going.

Perfect for Kids and the Kid-at-Heart

These jokes are family-friendly, silly, and perfect for sharing at dinner.

• What kind of train eats bubblegum? A chew-chew train!
• Why did the train go to school? To improve its track record!
• How does a train say hello? “Choo are you?”
• Why are trains good at telling stories? They’ve got great tales.
• What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? Track-oli!
• Why did the train cross the road? To pick up passengers, of course!
• How do trains stay in shape? They run on tracks!
• What do you call a train that tells jokes? A stand-up loco.
• Why did the train bring a blanket? For a sleeper car nap!
• What did the little engine say when he made it? “I knew I could!”

Wordplay That’ll Keep You Smiling

There’s just something magical about mashing up train words with everyday lingo.

• I’m rail-y excited about this!
• This party’s off the rails.
• Got steam? Let’s go!
• Don’t derail my vibe.
• You’re looking train-mendous today.
• I’m choo-choo thrilled!
• Stay track-tive, people.
• Let’s roll with it.
• Your ideas are on track.
• Chugging along like a pro.

Train Jokes for the Office

A little humor to lighten up those long workdays—especially if your commute involves a train.

• I was late to work… again. Blame the “choo-traffic.”
• I’m training myself to be on time.
• My coworker’s jokes are a total derailment.
• Office meetings: where good ideas go to track off.
• That’s not a deadline, that’s a red signal!
• This report is track-ing perfectly.
• I’m just here for the loco-motivation.
• She’s the engine of our team.
• I work best under steam pressure.
• Punching my time card like a conductor.

Loco-Motivated for Laughs

Feeling sluggish? These puns are the energy boost you didn’t know you needed.

• Let’s rail-ly do this!
• Fired up and ready to roll.
• On the fast track to fun.
• Powering through like a bullet train.
• Don’t stall—just steam ahead.
• I’m engine-iously hilarious.
• Chugga chugga joke-joke!
• Next stop: belly laughs.
• I’ve got pun power!
• Steamrolling over sadness today.

Romantic Rail Jokes to Melt Hearts

All aboard the love train! These are cheesy but oh-so-charming.

• You make my heart go choo-choo.
• I’m loco-moted by love.
• My love for you is full steam ahead.
• You’re my favorite travel buddy.
• We’ve got that tracktion!
• Can I be your conductor?
• Love at first ride.
• You’re the caboose to my engine.
• I’d go off the rails for you.
• Together, we’re unstoppable.

Jokes for Train Lovers

If you know someone who lives and breathes trains, these are just for them.

• You might be a train lover if your playlist has “I choo-choo-choose you.”
• You see a rail and feel the urge to wave.
• You correct people when they say “subway” instead of “metro.”
• Steam is your favorite state of water.
• Your favorite holiday? National Train Day.
• You own more train hats than socks.
• Model trains = adult Legos.
• You know the sound of every horn.
• “Delayed again?” still makes you smile.
• You say “platform” and mean business.

Train One-Liners for Quick Laughs

Boom—short, sharp, and super punny.

• This train has no brakes!
• Off the rails and loving it.
• Full steam ahead, baby.
• Train hard or go home.
• Mind the pun gap.
• Too loco to handle.
• Got track?
• Engineer of chaos.
• Stop? I thought we were nonstop.
• Destination: laughter.

Station Humor to Stop You in Your Tracks

Even the train station can be pun-central.

• Why did the train stay at the station? It needed a break.
• Platforms: where goodbyes and late arrivals live.
• I tried flirting at the station—it didn’t track well.
• The vending machine ate my ticket—snackrifice.
• Delayed again? Track-nical difficulties.
• Is this the express or the stress train?
• Lost luggage? More like derailment of fashion.
• I met my crush at the platform… train-mance.
• People-watching: the ultimate delay entertainment.
• Trains may stop, but bad jokes don’t.

Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan (In a Good Way)

Yes, they’re cringy. Yes, they’re awesome.

• I wanted to be a conductor—but I lost my train of thought.
• I told a train joke once… it never left the station.
• How does a train flirt? It gives you a signal.
• I ran after a train… but I was on the wrong track.
• Steam puns? I’m boiler-ing with excitement.
• I used to hate train jokes. Now I’m loco for them.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Train. Train who? Train your brain to laugh!
• My train jokes never miss the station. Just the point.
• I’ve got a pun for every track.
• You call them dad jokes. I call them tracktional wisdom.

Riddles and Jokes with a Twist

These make you think… then laugh.

• What has wheels but never tires? A train!
• I travel far but never leave my track. What am I? A train.
• What can you ride that’s always on time? A perfectly planned pun.
• What kind of train can’t move? A thought train.
• What do you call a train that’s shy? A “bashful engine.”
• I come with whistles and steam, but I’m not a kettle. What am I? Yep, a train!
• What’s fast, loud, and full of jokes? This article.
• I only stop for snacks and signals. Who am I? Your favorite train buddy.
• What starts slow and ends with a joke? This ride.
• What’s black, white, and read all over? A newspaper on a train.

Travel Humor to Keep You Company

For your next journey, take these with you.

• The best part of train travel? No turbulence!
• Why do trains make great therapists? They’re always on track.
• Commuter life = snack life.
• Sitting backward = instant regrets.
• Missed the train? More time for puns.
• Travel light? Not me—train snacks required.
• Every train delay = bonus nap time.
• Don’t sleep through your stop… again.
• Take the scenic route, always.
• Local train > traffic jam any day.

Bullet Train-Level Fast Jokes

These zip right by, but leave a smile.

• Blink and you’ll pun it.
• Train fast, laugh faster.
• Zoom + giggle = win.
• Track stars, unite!
• Speed limit? Just joking.
• Next station: comedy.
• It’s a pun rush!
• Smooth ride, sharp jokes.
• Whirlwind of wit.
• No brakes, just laughs.

SEE MORE: Nose Puns and Jokes 

Puns to Engineer a Smile

Calling all pun nerds—this one’s for you.

• Engineer your mood upward!
• No blueprints for these jokes.
• Fueled by laughter and steam.
• Master of mechanical humor.
• Built for pun-durance.
• Track record: 100% funny.
• Designs may vary, jokes stay strong.
• System powered by chuckles.
• Structural pun-tegrity: solid.
• Just another day at the laugh factory.

The Conductor’s Collection

The best of the best, straight from the front of the train.

• Conduct yourself with humor.
• Signals say: joke ahead!
• Leading the pun pack.
• Where the laughter starts.
• Safety first, fun second.
• Whistle while you work.
• Engine vibes only.
• Let’s toot our own horn.
• This is your captain punning.
• Mind the gap—and the giggles.

Silly Train Puns to Lighten the Mood

Because life’s too short not to be a little goofy.

• Chug it out!
• Feeling a bit track-ish.
• This joke’s a runaway train.
• Full load of funny today.
• Got tunnel vision for puns.
• Train-ing wheels off!
• Giggles on the go.
• Not all heroes wear vests.
• I rail-y needed that laugh.
• Smile station, straight ahead.

Puns That Keep on Track

Sometimes, all it takes is a simple twist.

• Stay tracked and punny.
• Never board of these jokes.
• Railly? Yep.
• More tracktion than expected.
• Too many stops? Never!
• Express yourself.
• Next pun inbound.
• Tunnel ahead—full of laughs!
• Smooth rails and fun times.
• Still choo-choo-sing fun.