450+ PJ Jokes

PJ jokes—short for poor jokes or pun jokes—have a special place in the world of humor. These lighthearted, witty one-liners thrive on wordplay, puns, and groan-worthy punchlines that spark laughter and smiles. Across generations, pun jokes have been a favorite for breaking the ice, sharing laughs with friends, or just brightening a dull moment.

This comprehensive collection features 450+ clever PJ jokes covering a wide range of themes and styles, perfect for any occasion. Whether you want to entertain at a party, liven up a speech, or simply enjoy some clean humor, these jokes are designed to delight and amuse.

1. Classic Pun Jokes

1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
5. I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
8. I’m friends with all electricians because we have good current connections.
9. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Animal PJ Jokes

1. Why don’t elephants use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
3. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
4. Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
5. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
6. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
7. What do you get when you cross a dog and a phone? A golden receiver.
8. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
9. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison.
10. Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys.

3. Food and Drink PJ Jokes

1. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
2. I don’t trust people who dislike chocolate. They seem a bit nuts.
3. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
4. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
5. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity coffee – it’s uplifting.
7. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
9. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
10. I wanted to tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

4. School and Education PJ Jokes

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
4. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
5. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrrr-t.
6. Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
7. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests.
8. Why are ghosts bad at school? Because they’re easily spooked.
9. Why did the pencil break up with the paper? Because it found someone sharper.
10. What’s a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory.

5. Technology PJ Jokes

1. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
2. I would tell you a joke about Wi-Fi, but I’m afraid you won’t get it.
3. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
4. How do robots pay for things? With cache.
5. Why was the smartphone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts.
6. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
7. Why did the keyboard break up with the monitor? There was no connection.
8. Why don’t computers take their hats off? Because they have bad CAPS lock.
9. What’s a coder’s favorite snack? Microchips.
10. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.

6. Holiday PJ Jokes

1. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
2. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
3. Why did the Easter egg hide? Because it was a little chicken.
4. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
5. Why was the turkey invited to join a band? Because he had the drumsticks.
6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
7. What do Halloween ghosts like to eat? I scream.
8. Why did the gingerbread man go to school? To become a smart cookie.
9. How does a pumpkin listen to music? On a gourd player.
10. What did one candle say to the other? I’m going out tonight.

7. Work and Office PJ Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I told my boss I needed a raise. He said, “Because you’re outstanding at your job.” I said, “No, because of inflation.”
3. Why did the calendar get fired? Because it had too many dates.
4. How do you stay warm in a cold office? Stand next to the coffee machine.
5. Why don’t secret agents ever get stressed? Because they keep their missions classified.
6. What did the printer say to the paper? “I’m feeling jammed.”
7. Why did the employee get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
8. What’s a programmer’s favorite hangout place? The breakpoint.
9. Why do accountants make good lovers? Because they know the value of a good balance.
10. Why did the employee bring a ladder to work? Because the job was up and coming.

8. Sports PJ Jokes

1. Why was the basketball team always cold? Because they kept dribbling.
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
3. Why do baseball players stay cool? Because they have fans.
4. Why don’t soccer players get hot? Because they have lots of fans.
5. What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea? Penal-tea.
6. Why did the baseball coach quit his job? He couldn’t catch a break.
7. How do swimmers clean themselves? With a swim-suit.
8. Why was the football stadium so hot? Because all the fans left.
9. What do you call a race between snowmen? A chill run.
10. Why did the tennis player bring a racket to the party? Because it was a smash hit.

9. Animal Sounds PJ Jokes

1. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
2. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
3. How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
4. Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
5. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
6. What do sheep say to each other at parties? Let’s get this party baaaah-ning.
7. Why did the owl invite his friends over? Because he didn’t give a hoot.
8. What’s a cow’s favorite musical instrument? The moo-sic box.
9. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
10. What do you call a lazy bird? A poultry in motion.

10. Relationship PJ Jokes

1. I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
2. Why did the two hearts break up? They lost their beat.
3. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
4. What did one boat say to the other? Are you up for a little row-mance?
5. I’m reading a book on love – it’s a page-turner.
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms in relationships? Because they make up everything.
7. My wife said I’m terrible at multitasking. So I told her I’m fine listening and ignoring her at the same time.
8. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
9. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
10. Why did the phone break up with the charger? Because it found a better connection.

11. Animal Action PJ Jokes

1. Why did the chicken join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
2. What do you get when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-has-trophy.
3. How do cows greet each other? “Moo to you!”
4. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.
5. What do you call a lazy dog? A dog-tired.
6. Why did the parrot get a timeout? Because it was a little bird-brained.
7. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker.
8. Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.
9. How do turtles communicate? By shell phones.
10. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon.

12. Food Action PJ Jokes

1. Why did the bread break up with the butter? Because it felt spread too thin.
2. What’s a salad’s favorite song? Toss it again.
3. Why did the carrot get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
6. How do you organize a party in space? You planet with some food.
7. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
8. What did the cookie say to the milk? You’re the cream of the crop.
9. Why was the mushroom invited to every party? Because he was a fungi.
10. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

13. Classic Knock-Knock PJ Jokes

1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, cow says mooooo.
3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that’s why I’m knocking.
4. Knock knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!
5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke.
6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you.
7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to answer?
8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.
9. Knock knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.
10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

14. Science PJ Jokes

1. Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry.
2. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?
3. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
4. Why did the photon check a suitcase? Because it was traveling light.
5. What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
6. Why did the biologist go on a date with a microscope? Because they were looking for a closer connection.
7. How does a chemist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
8. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.

15. Wordplay PJ Jokes

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. I’d tell you a joke about a broken pencil but it’s pointless.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
5. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
6. I’m no good at math, but I know that two wrongs don’t make a right — but three rights make a left.
7. I told my computer I needed a break and it said “No problem, I’ll go to sleep.”
8. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
9. I used to be a professional crastinator, but I’m still working on it.
10. The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.

16. Seasonal PJ Jokes

1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
2. Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a total flake.
3. Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
4. What do you call a spring flower who’s a great singer? Tulip.
5. What’s a summer’s favorite subject? Heat-ory.
6. Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green.
7. What do you call a lazy snowman? A puddle.
8. Why did the winter break up with the fall? Because it was too cold.
9. What do you get when you mix a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
10. Why do pumpkins sit on porches? Because they have no hands to knock.

17. Animal Hybrid PJ Jokes

1. What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie? A python.
2. What do you get if you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
3. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a skunk? A fowl smell.
4. What do you call a cat who can sing? A meow-sician.
5. What do you call a cow who just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
6. What happens if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.
7. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
8. What do you call a penguin in the UK? Lost.
9. What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frostbite.
10. What do you call a horse who lives next door? A neigh-bor.

18. Music PJ Jokes

1. Why did the musician get kicked out of the band? Because he was flat.
2. What do you call a guitar that plays itself? A self-stringing instrument.
3. How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue.
4. Why did the piano break up with the accordion? It found it too much of a squeeze.
5. What’s a drummer’s favorite type of tea? Beat.
6. Why was the musician arrested? Because he got caught bass-handling.
7. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs.
8. What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
9. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with sharp notes.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite musical note? Arrrrrr.

19. Family PJ Jokes

1. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
2. What do you call a family of musical chairs? A game of sit-down.
3. Why did the mother knit three socks? Because she heard her son grew another foot.
4. What do you call your siblings when they fight over a computer? A byte fight.
5. Why don’t dads ever get lost? Because they always follow their gut.
6. Why was the baby strawberry upset? Because her parents were in a jam.
7. What do you call a family of turtles? A shell family.
8. Why don’t family reunions have secrets? Because everyone spills the beans.
9. What do you get when you cross a family and a bakery? Lots of dough.
10. Why did the father clock sit down? Because it was time out.

20. Miscellaneous PJ Jokes

1. I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now, it’s emotionally checked out.
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
5. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
6. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
7. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it.
8. Why did the math teacher open a window? Because she wanted to let in some fresh angles.
9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
10. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.