Ever heard a joke so funny it made you snort like a pig? Well, you’re about to. Welcome to the ultimate collection of 210+ ham puns and jokes—perfect for when you’re in the mood for some meaty laughs. Whether you’re a pun-lover, bacon enthusiast, or just someone who enjoys good wordplay, this is your hammy little corner of the internet.
Let’s be real—life can be a bit too serious sometimes. So why not take a break, slice up some silly, and enjoy these juicy jokes? These are safe for kids, fun for adults, and ideal for sharing with friends, family, or anyone who needs a giggle.
Alright, let’s ham it up!
Ham Jokes That’ll Make You Go “Oink!”
- Why did the ham start a podcast? It had something to spread.
- I asked the ham to stop telling jokes—it said, “I can’t help my deli-cious wit!”
- That ham’s jokes? Totally cured my bad mood.
- Don’t trust the pig at karaoke—it always hogs the mic.
- What’s a ham’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone!
- I saw a ham do stand-up comedy—it was smokin’!
- The ham joined a band… it was part of the meat section.
- What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop!
- My ham told me a joke… but it was too salty for school.
- That ham was such a drama queen—always bringing home the bacon.
Puns So Good, They’ll Sizzle Your Brain
- I told my sandwich a joke—it gave me the cold cuts.
- That pig went to Hollywood—it’s now a ham-star.
- Don’t play poker with pigs… they always bluff with boar-dness.
- I saw a ham writing poetry—turns out, it’s quite the hamlet.
- This joke is so hammy, it belongs on Broad-ham-way.
- I went to a BBQ and saw a pig DJ—guess it was dropping some sick beets.
- Ham just texted me: “I’m on a roll!”
- Did you hear about the pig who opened a bakery? It made pork buns!
- Ham on vacation? It’s livin’ high on the hog.
- Why did the ham apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the bacon.
Ham Puns for Your Inner Comedian
- That ham’s got layers—must be a hamlet actor.
- Pig jokes? I sow love them!
- Why don’t pigs do magic? Because they always boar the crowd.
- I met a pig who’s a lawyer—he’s really bringing in the pork-ets.
- That pig’s a great musician—loves to jam with the ham.
- A ham broke into a bank—it was an inside pork job.
- If a pig writes a novel, is it a porkfolio?
- What’s a pig’s favorite movie? The Silence of the Hams.
- That pig became a pilot—he flies ham-choppers now.
- Can a pig be a philosopher? Only if it’s deep-fried in thought.
SEE MORE: Eye Puns and Jokes
Meaty Zingers for Maximum Laughs
- My ham wants to be famous—it’s going full hog.
- What’s a pig’s favorite social media? Instaham!
- This pig just ran a marathon—it’s totally on pork-point.
- That ham won an Oscar for Best Porkformance.
- I tried to diet, but ham kept bacon me crazy.
- Is your refrigerator running? Better ham it down!
- The ham got promoted—it’s now boss hog.
- Bacon’s cousin? Ham’s the sophisticated sibling.
- What’s a pig’s favorite subject in school? Hog-tory.
- That pig doesn’t sweat—it’s cool as a bacon-bit.
Oink-Worthy Wordplay
- The pig joined a gym—it’s on a tread-ham.
- What did the ham say at the wedding? I dewlicious.
- Why did the ham get detention? It was being a little rasher.
- Pig at the movie theater? Better bring some pop-boar-n.
- The pig invented an app—it’s called SnoutChat.
- That pig’s a poet—it speaks in iamb-ham-pentameter.
- The ham was late—it was stuck in a traffic jamón.
- Ham’s favorite drink? Root boar.
- The pig’s favorite band? Pork Floyd.
- My sandwich told a joke—I guess it’s a real hamateur.
Perfect for Porky Parties
- The ham threw a party—it was off the snouts.
- That pig knows how to dance—it’s got hog moves.
- Why don’t pigs lie? They’re too frankfurter.
- The ham made a new friend—it was love at first bite.
- The pig’s DJ name? DJ Ham-bone.
- Ever seen a pig play soccer? It’s a real goal-hog.
- The bacon tried to outshine the ham—talk about greasy drama!
- Pigs at the beach? Don’t forget the sizzle screen.
- Why did the ham win the lottery? Because it brought home the bacon.
- That pig’s a real flirt—it always brings home the swine.
Ham You Ready for More?
- That pig can’t stop bragging—it’s such a boar.
- The pig joined a rock band—now it’s a ham-merhead.
- My ham won’t stop texting—it’s bringing the spam.
- Why did the ham go to therapy? It had meat-issues.
- Don’t get between a pig and its snack—it’ll go hog-wild.
- A pig in the army? You bet—it’s Ser-ham-t Major.
- I asked the pig to dance—it gave me a little boar-step.
- The pig became a gardener—it’s growing pork plants.
- That ham’s so dramatic—it needs a curtain call.
- Bacon and ham had a fight—pork feelings were hurt.
Sizzling One-Liners for Texts and DMs
- You bacon me crazy.
- Let’s ham it up tonight!
- You’re sizzling hot like breakfast ham.
- I’m feeling kind of piggy today.
- Stay calm and ham on.
- You had me at ham-lo.
- Don’t go bacon my heart!
- Life’s better with a side of ham.
- Hogging all the fun again, aren’t you?
- Let’s pig out in style.
Ham Puns for the Holidays
- Merry Crispmas—don’t forget the honey-glazed ham!
- The Easter pig delivered eggs—Ham-hop the Bunny.
- Pigs love Valentine’s Day—they’re total swine-hearts.
- Halloween pig costume? Call it a fright-hog.
- On New Year’s, we raise a toast to roast.
- Turkey called in sick—ham’s taking over Thanksgiving.
- The pig’s new year’s resolution? Cut the fat.
- Holiday stress? Just ham it out.
- Sleigh bells and snouts.
- ‘Tis the season to bacon together.
Animal Jokes That Pair Perfectly with Ham
- A pig and a chicken started a business—eggs and ham, anyone?
- What do you call a pig in a tuxedo? Sooey-ted up.
- What do pigs eat for dessert? Straw-boar-y shortcake.
- A pig’s favorite sport? Ham-mer throw.
- Don’t argue with a pig—it always brings up old slop.
- A pig on roller skates? Ham on wheels.
- What do you call a sleeping pig? Out like a snout.
- That cow and pig duo? Moo-ving and oinking!.
- Pigs on a plane? Snakes are so last season.
- Ham and eggs walked into a bar… the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Punny Ham Nicknames
- Ham-solo
- Hamothy
- Sir Oinks-a-Lot
- Piggy Smalls
- Swine Stein
- The Great Hambino
- Lord of the Rinds
- Porky Potter
- Hambo Slice
- Hogzilla
Puns for Your Pet Pig
- Call your pig “Hamlet” for Shakespearean vibes.
- “Snuffles” if it’s a snorer.
- “Bacon Bits” if it’s tiny.
- “Sir Squeals-a-Lot” for drama queens.
- “Truffle Snout” if it’s fancy.
- “Pigasso” for the artsy swine.
- “Napoleon Porkaparte” for bossy pigs.
- “Oinkie Minaj” for the diva.
- “Hammy Davis Jr.” if it sings.
- “Piggy Stardust” for a glam look.
Jokes for Foodies Who Love Ham
- Ham it up with brie and crackers—it’s a gouda time.
- Who needs steak when you’ve got a cured attitude?
- Ham sandwiches? Always a cut above the rest.
- That chef? Total porkfectionist.
- The ham soup said, “Don’t broth-er me!”
- Ham in sushi? That’s some fusion confusion.
- Got ham? You’ve got taste.
- The ham tacos? Muy deli-cious.
- Ham and pineapple? Hawaiian you doing?
- Brunch without ham? That’s a miss-steak!
School-Friendly Ham Jokes for Kids
- What do pigs write with? Pig-ment pens!
- Why was the pig always late? It kept “boaring” time!
- What did the pig say to its crush? You make my heart sizzle!
- Why did the pig bring a ladder? To reach the ham-stars.
- Why was the pig in math class? To learn about sines and swines.
- What do you call a pig that tells secrets? A squealer.
- That pig is a great student—always hogging the top grades.
- What’s a pig’s favorite game? Snout and Seek.
- Pigs hate spelling tests—they always butcher the words.
- Why did the pig sit at the front? It wanted to bring home the bacon.
Silly Ham Sayings You Can Use Anytime
- Ham it and jam it!
- Everything’s better with bacon, but ham’s got range.
- Keep calm and snort on.
- Don’t just bring home the bacon—glaze it, too.
- I’m not being dramatic—I’m being deli-cious.
- You’re sizzling, honey!
- Say it with ham.
- When in doubt, pig out.
- Ham today, gone tomorrow.
- A little ham never hurt nobody.
Short Jokes for Quick Giggles
- Ham walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Why the long snout?”
- Pig’s favorite movie? Hogzilla.
- Why did the ham blush? It saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a pig who plays piano? Pork-chopsticks.
- Why did the pig go to the casino? It wanted to try the slop machines.
- That pig’s a real ham-bassador.
- How does a pig say goodbye? Sow long!.
- The ham brought a suitcase—it’s going on a pork-cation.
- What’s a pig’s least favorite subject? Ham-economics.
- Pig’s got jokes—it’s hog-larious.
Ham-Tastic Comebacks and One-Liners
- Don’t roast me—I’m already ham.
- You’re acting kinda salty… like cured meat.
- If you’re gonna bring sass, bring a side of bacon too.
- Ham me the remote, please.
- I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong… and cured.
- I’m not lazy—I’m just slow-cooked.
- Your argument is full of baloney… and maybe a little ham.
- Sorry, I only respond to compliments and smoked meats.
- I’m not ignoring you—I’m just in a food coma.
- You’re not wrong, you’re just not ham-right.
Puns for the Grill Masters
- That ham sizzled like a stand-up comic!
- Grillin’ and chillin’ with my ham-mies.
- Don’t flip out—it’s just ham.
- Ham on the grill? That’s flavor with flare.
- BBQ’d ham? Now we’re talkin’ pork-fessionally.
- Meat me at the grill.
- I like my jokes how I like my ham—well done.
- Smokin’ hot and totally glazed.
- This BBQ’s going hog wild.
- Tongs out, buns ready—let’s get piggy with it.
Social Media Ham-spirations
- #HamGoals—when your sandwich is stacked to perfection.
- Just cured things 🐷💅
- Feeling ham-bitious today.
- Meat me at the deli.
- Bringing home the bacon… but make it ham.
- Sizzlin’ selfies and salty snacks.
- Not a snack. I’m the whole ham.
- This filter is 100% pork-fect.
- Swipe right for ham!
- Livin’ my best snout life.
Ham Puns for Greeting Cards
- You’re the ham to my sandwich.
- Hope your birthday is cured to perfection!
- Sending hogs and kisses.
- Wishing you a sizzling season!
- You bacon me proud!
- Let’s pig out and celebrate!
- Hogs and snuggles for you today.
- You’re ham-azing, never forget it.
- Oink you glad we’re friends?
- Let’s raise a toast… with ham, of course!
Puns for When You’re Feeling Extra
- Not extra—I’m double smoked.
- Born to stand out, cured to impress.
- I bring the spice and the glaze.
- Too hammy? Never.
- I sparkle like a honey-glazed ham under party lights.
- Main character energy—served with mustard.
- I walk into rooms like I just came out the oven.
- I wasn’t made to blend in… I was made to be sliced.
- Drama? I prefer deli-drama.
- I don’t do basic. I do thick-cut fabulous.
All’s Swine in Love and Pork
- Love at first bite.
- You had me at ham-lo.
- Our love? Smoked and slow-roasted.
- Let’s meat in the middle.
- You’re bacon me crazy—in a good way!
- I ham so into you.
- Let’s make this sizzle.
- You complete my sandwich.
- Together, we’re ham-made in heaven.
- Even when you’re salty, I still love you.