210+ Ham Puns and Jokes 

Ever heard a joke so funny it made you snort like a pig? Well, you’re about to. Welcome to the ultimate collection of 210+ ham puns and jokes—perfect for when you’re in the mood for some meaty laughs. Whether you’re a pun-lover, bacon enthusiast, or just someone who enjoys good wordplay, this is your hammy little corner of the internet.

Let’s be real—life can be a bit too serious sometimes. So why not take a break, slice up some silly, and enjoy these juicy jokes? These are safe for kids, fun for adults, and ideal for sharing with friends, family, or anyone who needs a giggle.

Alright, let’s ham it up!

Ham Jokes That’ll Make You Go “Oink!”

  • Why did the ham start a podcast? It had something to spread.
  • I asked the ham to stop telling jokes—it said, “I can’t help my deli-cious wit!”
  • That ham’s jokes? Totally cured my bad mood.
  • Don’t trust the pig at karaoke—it always hogs the mic.
  • What’s a ham’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone!
  • I saw a ham do stand-up comedy—it was smokin’!
  • The ham joined a band… it was part of the meat section.
  • What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop!
  • My ham told me a joke… but it was too salty for school.
  • That ham was such a drama queen—always bringing home the bacon.

Puns So Good, They’ll Sizzle Your Brain

  • I told my sandwich a joke—it gave me the cold cuts.
  • That pig went to Hollywood—it’s now a ham-star.
  • Don’t play poker with pigs… they always bluff with boar-dness.
  • I saw a ham writing poetry—turns out, it’s quite the hamlet.
  • This joke is so hammy, it belongs on Broad-ham-way.
  • I went to a BBQ and saw a pig DJ—guess it was dropping some sick beets.
  • Ham just texted me: “I’m on a roll!
  • Did you hear about the pig who opened a bakery? It made pork buns!
  • Ham on vacation? It’s livin’ high on the hog.
  • Why did the ham apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the bacon.

Ham Puns for Your Inner Comedian

  • That ham’s got layers—must be a hamlet actor.
  • Pig jokes? I sow love them!
  • Why don’t pigs do magic? Because they always boar the crowd.
  • I met a pig who’s a lawyer—he’s really bringing in the pork-ets.
  • That pig’s a great musician—loves to jam with the ham.
  • A ham broke into a bank—it was an inside pork job.
  • If a pig writes a novel, is it a porkfolio?
  • What’s a pig’s favorite movie? The Silence of the Hams.
  • That pig became a pilot—he flies ham-choppers now.
  • Can a pig be a philosopher? Only if it’s deep-fried in thought.

SEE MORE: Eye Puns and Jokes

Meaty Zingers for Maximum Laughs

  • My ham wants to be famous—it’s going full hog.
  • What’s a pig’s favorite social media? Instaham!
  • This pig just ran a marathon—it’s totally on pork-point.
  • That ham won an Oscar for Best Porkformance.
  • I tried to diet, but ham kept bacon me crazy.
  • Is your refrigerator running? Better ham it down!
  • The ham got promoted—it’s now boss hog.
  • Bacon’s cousin? Ham’s the sophisticated sibling.
  • What’s a pig’s favorite subject in school? Hog-tory.
  • That pig doesn’t sweat—it’s cool as a bacon-bit.

Oink-Worthy Wordplay

  • The pig joined a gym—it’s on a tread-ham.
  • What did the ham say at the wedding? I dewlicious.
  • Why did the ham get detention? It was being a little rasher.
  • Pig at the movie theater? Better bring some pop-boar-n.
  • The pig invented an app—it’s called SnoutChat.
  • That pig’s a poet—it speaks in iamb-ham-pentameter.
  • The ham was late—it was stuck in a traffic jamón.
  • Ham’s favorite drink? Root boar.
  • The pig’s favorite band? Pork Floyd.
  • My sandwich told a joke—I guess it’s a real hamateur.

Perfect for Porky Parties

  • The ham threw a party—it was off the snouts.
  • That pig knows how to dance—it’s got hog moves.
  • Why don’t pigs lie? They’re too frankfurter.
  • The ham made a new friend—it was love at first bite.
  • The pig’s DJ name? DJ Ham-bone.
  • Ever seen a pig play soccer? It’s a real goal-hog.
  • The bacon tried to outshine the ham—talk about greasy drama!
  • Pigs at the beach? Don’t forget the sizzle screen.
  • Why did the ham win the lottery? Because it brought home the bacon.
  • That pig’s a real flirt—it always brings home the swine.

Ham You Ready for More?

  • That pig can’t stop bragging—it’s such a boar.
  • The pig joined a rock band—now it’s a ham-merhead.
  • My ham won’t stop texting—it’s bringing the spam.
  • Why did the ham go to therapy? It had meat-issues.
  • Don’t get between a pig and its snack—it’ll go hog-wild.
  • A pig in the army? You bet—it’s Ser-ham-t Major.
  • I asked the pig to dance—it gave me a little boar-step.
  • The pig became a gardener—it’s growing pork plants.
  • That ham’s so dramatic—it needs a curtain call.
  • Bacon and ham had a fight—pork feelings were hurt.

Sizzling One-Liners for Texts and DMs

  • You bacon me crazy.
  • Let’s ham it up tonight!
  • You’re sizzling hot like breakfast ham.
  • I’m feeling kind of piggy today.
  • Stay calm and ham on.
  • You had me at ham-lo.
  • Don’t go bacon my heart!
  • Life’s better with a side of ham.
  • Hogging all the fun again, aren’t you?
  • Let’s pig out in style.

Ham Puns for the Holidays

  • Merry Crispmas—don’t forget the honey-glazed ham!
  • The Easter pig delivered eggs—Ham-hop the Bunny.
  • Pigs love Valentine’s Day—they’re total swine-hearts.
  • Halloween pig costume? Call it a fright-hog.
  • On New Year’s, we raise a toast to roast.
  • Turkey called in sick—ham’s taking over Thanksgiving.
  • The pig’s new year’s resolution? Cut the fat.
  • Holiday stress? Just ham it out.
  • Sleigh bells and snouts.
  • ‘Tis the season to bacon together.

Animal Jokes That Pair Perfectly with Ham

  • A pig and a chicken started a business—eggs and ham, anyone?
  • What do you call a pig in a tuxedo? Sooey-ted up.
  • What do pigs eat for dessert? Straw-boar-y shortcake.
  • A pig’s favorite sport? Ham-mer throw.
  • Don’t argue with a pig—it always brings up old slop.
  • A pig on roller skates? Ham on wheels.
  • What do you call a sleeping pig? Out like a snout.
  • That cow and pig duo? Moo-ving and oinking!.
  • Pigs on a plane? Snakes are so last season.
  • Ham and eggs walked into a bar… the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

Punny Ham Nicknames

  • Ham-solo
  • Hamothy
  • Sir Oinks-a-Lot
  • Piggy Smalls
  • Swine Stein
  • The Great Hambino
  • Lord of the Rinds
  • Porky Potter
  • Hambo Slice
  • Hogzilla

Puns for Your Pet Pig

  • Call your pig “Hamlet” for Shakespearean vibes.
  • “Snuffles” if it’s a snorer.
  • “Bacon Bits” if it’s tiny.
  • “Sir Squeals-a-Lot” for drama queens.
  • “Truffle Snout” if it’s fancy.
  • “Pigasso” for the artsy swine.
  • “Napoleon Porkaparte” for bossy pigs.
  • “Oinkie Minaj” for the diva.
  • “Hammy Davis Jr.” if it sings.
  • “Piggy Stardust” for a glam look.

Jokes for Foodies Who Love Ham

  • Ham it up with brie and crackers—it’s a gouda time.
  • Who needs steak when you’ve got a cured attitude?
  • Ham sandwiches? Always a cut above the rest.
  • That chef? Total porkfectionist.
  • The ham soup said, “Don’t broth-er me!”
  • Ham in sushi? That’s some fusion confusion.
  • Got ham? You’ve got taste.
  • The ham tacos? Muy deli-cious.
  • Ham and pineapple? Hawaiian you doing?
  • Brunch without ham? That’s a miss-steak!

School-Friendly Ham Jokes for Kids

  • What do pigs write with? Pig-ment pens!
  • Why was the pig always late? It kept “boaring” time!
  • What did the pig say to its crush? You make my heart sizzle!
  • Why did the pig bring a ladder? To reach the ham-stars.
  • Why was the pig in math class? To learn about sines and swines.
  • What do you call a pig that tells secrets? A squealer.
  • That pig is a great student—always hogging the top grades.
  • What’s a pig’s favorite game? Snout and Seek.
  • Pigs hate spelling tests—they always butcher the words.
  • Why did the pig sit at the front? It wanted to bring home the bacon.

Silly Ham Sayings You Can Use Anytime

  • Ham it and jam it!
  • Everything’s better with bacon, but ham’s got range.
  • Keep calm and snort on.
  • Don’t just bring home the bacon—glaze it, too.
  • I’m not being dramatic—I’m being deli-cious.
  • You’re sizzling, honey!
  • Say it with ham.
  • When in doubt, pig out.
  • Ham today, gone tomorrow.
  • A little ham never hurt nobody.

Short Jokes for Quick Giggles

  • Ham walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Why the long snout?”
  • Pig’s favorite movie? Hogzilla.
  • Why did the ham blush? It saw the salad dressing.
  • What do you call a pig who plays piano? Pork-chopsticks.
  • Why did the pig go to the casino? It wanted to try the slop machines.
  • That pig’s a real ham-bassador.
  • How does a pig say goodbye? Sow long!.
  • The ham brought a suitcase—it’s going on a pork-cation.
  • What’s a pig’s least favorite subject? Ham-economics.
  • Pig’s got jokes—it’s hog-larious.

Ham-Tastic Comebacks and One-Liners

  • Don’t roast me—I’m already ham.
  • You’re acting kinda salty… like cured meat.
  • If you’re gonna bring sass, bring a side of bacon too.
  • Ham me the remote, please.
  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong… and cured.
  • I’m not lazy—I’m just slow-cooked.
  • Your argument is full of baloney… and maybe a little ham.
  • Sorry, I only respond to compliments and smoked meats.
  • I’m not ignoring you—I’m just in a food coma.
  • You’re not wrong, you’re just not ham-right.

Puns for the Grill Masters

  • That ham sizzled like a stand-up comic!
  • Grillin’ and chillin’ with my ham-mies.
  • Don’t flip out—it’s just ham.
  • Ham on the grill? That’s flavor with flare.
  • BBQ’d ham? Now we’re talkin’ pork-fessionally.
  • Meat me at the grill.
  • I like my jokes how I like my ham—well done.
  • Smokin’ hot and totally glazed.
  • This BBQ’s going hog wild.
  • Tongs out, buns ready—let’s get piggy with it.

Social Media Ham-spirations

  • #HamGoals—when your sandwich is stacked to perfection.
  • Just cured things 🐷💅
  • Feeling ham-bitious today.
  • Meat me at the deli.
  • Bringing home the bacon… but make it ham.
  • Sizzlin’ selfies and salty snacks.
  • Not a snack. I’m the whole ham.
  • This filter is 100% pork-fect.
  • Swipe right for ham!
  • Livin’ my best snout life.

Ham Puns for Greeting Cards

  • You’re the ham to my sandwich.
  • Hope your birthday is cured to perfection!
  • Sending hogs and kisses.
  • Wishing you a sizzling season!
  • You bacon me proud!
  • Let’s pig out and celebrate!
  • Hogs and snuggles for you today.
  • You’re ham-azing, never forget it.
  • Oink you glad we’re friends?
  • Let’s raise a toast… with ham, of course!

Puns for When You’re Feeling Extra

  • Not extra—I’m double smoked.
  • Born to stand out, cured to impress.
  • I bring the spice and the glaze.
  • Too hammy? Never.
  • I sparkle like a honey-glazed ham under party lights.
  • Main character energy—served with mustard.
  • I walk into rooms like I just came out the oven.
  • I wasn’t made to blend in… I was made to be sliced.
  • Drama? I prefer deli-drama.
  • I don’t do basic. I do thick-cut fabulous.

All’s Swine in Love and Pork

  • Love at first bite.
  • You had me at ham-lo.
  • Our love? Smoked and slow-roasted.
  • Let’s meat in the middle.
  • You’re bacon me crazy—in a good way!
  • I ham so into you.
  • Let’s make this sizzle.
  • You complete my sandwich.
  • Together, we’re ham-made in heaven.
  • Even when you’re salty, I still love you.

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