450+ Corny Dad Jokes to Crack You Up

Looking for the best corny dad jokes that will make your family laugh, groan, and roll their eyes all at once? This collection of 450+ funny dad jokes is packed with clean humor, playful puns, and timeless one-liners that dads love to tell. Whether you’re here to lighten up a party, impress your kids with your “dad joke game,” or just enjoy some old-school wordplay, this mega list delivers the chuckles.

These corny jokes are organized into categories like family-friendly dad jokes, dad puns for kids, cheesy dad humor, and more. Crafted to boost your mood and optimized for readers of all ages, these gags combine clever setups, awkward punchlines, and endearing awkwardness.

So if you’re ready for pun-packed fun, scroll through this treasure trove of dad comedy and laugh like a true father figure.

Classic Corny Dad Jokes That Never Get Old

1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
3. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I would tell a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
6. I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
7. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
9. Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

Short and Sweet Dad Jokes

1. I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
3. I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
7. I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
8. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
9. I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
10. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.

Clean Dad Jokes for Kids

1. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
2. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
3. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
4. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
8. What musical instrument is always in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
9. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.

Corny Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings

1. Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
2. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punchline.
3. Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s a little cheesy.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
5. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
6. I told my kids I could do a great imitation of a flamingo. They said, “Stand on one leg, then.”
7. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
8. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
9. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
10. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Dad Jokes for Awkward Silence

1. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
2. Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. I used to have a job as a professional cricket player, but I was always bowled over.
5. I’d tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
6. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
8. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
9. I told my kids to stop acting like flamingos. So they had to put their foot down.
10. I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t got a gig yet.

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Corny Dad Jokes About Food

1. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
2. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek contest. Good players are hard to ketchup with.
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
5. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
6. What kind of nuts always seem to have a cold? Cashews.
7. I donut trust people who dislike pastries.
8. My favorite type of music is pop corn.
9. What do you call cheese that acts dramatic? Brie-lliant.
10. Why didn’t the orange win the race? It ran out of juice.

Corny Animal Dad Jokes

1. Why don’t fish do well in school? Because they’re always swimming below “C” level.
2. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
3. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
4. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
5. Why are cats such bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
6. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
7. What do you call a dog magician? A labra-cadabra-dor.
8. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets towed.
9. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
10. How do you count cows? With a cowculator.

Corny Dad Puns About Work

1. I used to work for a blanket factory, but it folded.
2. I got fired from my job as a calendar maker for taking a few days off.
3. Becoming a baker? It’s a knead I can’t ignore.
4. I didn’t like my job as a carpenter. Too many sawdust decisions.
5. I quit my job at the helium factory—I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
6. I told my boss I needed a raise. He said it’s not in the budget cut.
7. I work at a keyboard factory, and I’ve lost control.
8. The bakery fired me because I couldn’t rise to the occasion.
9. I wanted to become a tailor, but I didn’t find it suiting.
10. I got a job at the orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.

Corny Dad Jokes About Sports

1. Why is basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the court.
2. I tried out for the baseball team but struck out.
3. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole-in-one.
4. Football players are so cool—they know how to kick back.
5. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
6. Tennis players have love for everyone.
7. I used to be good at track—now I just run my mouth.
8. My soccer coach quit. He just couldn’t goal on.
9. Bowling is right up my alley.
10. I thought about taking up wrestling, but I couldn’t find the right match.

Corny Dad Jokes About Weather

1. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
2. Thunderstorms are just clouds having a heated argument.
3. Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter.
4. I stayed inside during the tornado. I didn’t want to get blown away.
5. I love cold weather—it’s snow joke.
6. My weather app is always wrong. I guess it’s just a little cloudy in judgment.
7. Why did the snowman look through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
8. Can February March? No, but April May.
9. Weather forecasts are so dramatic—it’s like they have stormy relationships.
10. Rainy days make me feel under the weather.

Corny Dad Jokes About Technology

1. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes.
2. I would tell you a joke about an iPhone, but I’d need to charge you.
3. Why was the smartphone cold? It left its Windows open.
4. My internet is so slow, it’s like it’s still using dial-up.
5. I accidentally deleted the only joke I had on this computer. Now it’s gone viral.
6. My laptop’s keyboard is broken, so I wrote this with my bare hands.
7. Why do robots never get scared? Because they have nerves of steel.
8. Computers don’t catch colds—they catch viruses.
9. I’m in a relationship with WiFi. It’s got a strong connection.
10. My phone broke and now I can’t call my jokes punchlines.

Corny Dad Jokes About School

1. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
2. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC? Times Square.
3. Why was the music teacher a good baseball coach? He had the perfect pitch.
4. I told my pencil it was useless. Now it’s feeling a little pointless.
5. Why don’t you do math in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
6. What did the English book say to the History book? You’re so old!
7. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
8. I used to hate school picture day, but now I see it in a different light.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrrrrrt.
10. The math book looked sad because it had too many problems.

Corny Dad Jokes About Love & Relationships

1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she stood me up. I guess we’re not working out.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands—my wife prefers it.
4. I told my partner we were soulmates. They said, “More like sole mates—your socks always disappear.”
5. My love for you is like diarrhea: I just can’t hold it in.
6. Why did the couple go to therapy? They lost their sense of humerus.
7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
8. She had a boyfriend in construction. Turns out, he was just building up excuses.
9. I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. She said, “Poof! You’re a sandwich.”
10. I gave her a map. She said, “What’s this?” I said, “The way to my heart.”

Corny Dad Jokes About Travel

1. I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation. Now it’s emotional baggage.
2. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps.
3. I wanted to go to Paris, but I couldn’t French my way through customs.
4. I tried to make a belt out of watches on my trip. It was a waist of time.
5. Airplane food is just plane bad.
6. The GPS told me to go straight—guess it didn’t know I’m curvy like these roads.
7. I crossed the road while on vacation… just to say I traveled.
8. I told my wife she was my rock on this trip. She replied, “And you’re the pebble in my shoe.”
9. I booked a flight to Italy. I cannoli hope it’s good.
10. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but my jet lag sure was.

Corny Dad Jokes About Money

1. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
2. Why did the dollar break up with the penny? It found someone richer.
3. My wallet is like an onion—opening it makes me cry.
4. I wanted to be a millionaire. Then I had kids.
5. I spent all my money on pasta. It was worth every penne.
6. My budget is like a diet. It keeps getting broken by snacks.
7. I once made a belt out of hundred-dollar bills. It was a waist of money.
8. I told my bank account a joke. It didn’t balance out.
9. I invested in stocks once. Turns out it was chicken stock.
10. I opened a bakery with my savings. Now I’m rolling in dough.

Corny Dad Jokes About Kids

1. I asked my kid if he wanted to hear a joke. He said, “Only if it’s bad.”
2. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because its parents were in a jam.
3. I told my son to stop impersonating a flamingo. He had to put his foot down.
4. My daughter wanted a pony. I got her a plush one. We’re even.
5. I told my toddler a dad joke. She replied, “You’re not funny.”
6. I bought a step ladder. My kid asked, “Where’s the real dad ladder?”
7. My kid asked why his shoes were shrinking. I said, “Because you’re growing!”
8. Why did the baby cross the road? To get to the playpen.
9. I tried to nap, but my toddler yelled “Wakey wakey eggs and scream!”
10. Being a dad is 10% advice, 90% saying “Because I said so.”