210+ Bean Puns and Jokes

Ever thought beans could be funny? Yep, those little legumes are packing more than protein—they’re full of potential for some seriously silly laughs. Whether you’re a coffee bean enthusiast, a baked bean lover, or just someone who enjoys a good pun (guilty!), you’re in for a treat. We’ve got 210+ bean puns and jokes that are corny, goofy, and bean-credible.

So grab a bowl of chili or a cup of joe, sit back, and get ready to giggle. These bean jokes are perfect for parties, texts to your pun-loving friends, or anytime you just want a little pick-me-up.

Bean There, Done That

I’ve bean thinking about you.
You’ve bean on my mind all day!
I’ve bean better, I’ve bean worse.
It’s bean real.
Bean there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
I’ve bean meaning to tell you a joke.
Where have you bean all my life?
Bean busy lately?
You wouldn’t believe what I’ve bean through.
Don’t bean so dramatic!

Full of Beans

This kid is totally full of beans today!
After that energy drink? I was full of beans.
I’m so full of beans, I could run a marathon… or at least to the fridge.
My grandma’s chili? Full of beans and secrets.
Monday morning? Not full of beans yet.
He’s got more energy than a bag of jumping beans.
I’m not full of beans—I’m full of tacos, thank you.
Sometimes I’m full of beans… sometimes I’m just full of nonsense.
Beans, beans, the magical fruit… you know the rest.
Life’s too short not to be full of beans.

Coffee Bean Comedy

You mocha me laugh!
What’s a coffee bean’s favorite music? Anything with a good brew.
Espresso yourself!
I’m bean-ing honest, I love coffee more than most people.
Bean there, brewed that.
Don’t talk to me before my coffee—or I might snap like a dry bean.
I’ve bean up since 5am… thank you, espresso shot.
My blood type is coffee.
You can’t espresso how much you bean to me.
Life without coffee? That’s just depresso.

Baked Bean Banter

I baked it ‘til I beaned it.
Baked beans at a BBQ? Yes, please.
That meal was un-bean-lievably good.
Baked beans are my spirit food.
What do baked beans do at a party? They get saucy.
Feeling gassy? Blame the beans.
Baked beans in a can? Can-do attitude!
Beans in the oven? Now that’s hot stuff.
Baked beans and toast? Breakfast goals.
Let’s get baked… with beans.

Bean Pick-Up Lines

Are you a bean? Because you complete my chili.
I must be a bean, because I’ve fallen for you.
You’re hotter than a jalapeño on a bowl of beans.
Let’s stick together like rice and beans.
Are you made of beans? Because you’re magical.
I’d cross the whole bean field for you.
Are we at Starbucks? Because I feel a latte connection.
You bean on my mind all day.
Our love is like beans—cheap, warm, and a little gassy.
I’m soy into you.

Bean Dad Jokes

What did the bean say to the other bean? “How you bean?”
Why don’t beans ever start fights? They don’t want to spill the beans.
What’s a bean’s favorite type of movie? Anything bean-spirational.
How do you know beans are good listeners? They never interrupt—they just simmer.
Why was the bean always calm? Because it was never in a stew.
What’s a bean’s favorite sport? Bowl-ing.
What’s a pirate’s favorite bean? The garrrrbanzo.
What do you call a fancy bean? So-phiso-bean-cated.
What kind of bean can’t grow? A jellybean!
Why don’t beans make good secrets? They always spill themselves.