450+ Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They’re Funny

Stupid jokes have a unique place in the world of humor. They’re short, silly, and sometimes so pointless that you can’t help but laugh. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle, a dad joke to drop at dinner, or some light entertainment to share with friends, these stupid puns and jokes will surely do the trick. This article is packed with brain-numbing, eye-roll-worthy humor that works for all ages.

These jokes are clean, simple, and perfect for any casual conversation. From classic one-liners to dumb punchlines, there’s something here for everyone. Great for kids, teens, and even adults with a good sense of humor. These dumb jokes are optimized for those searching for silly content, funny phrases, and easy laughs.

Stupid Jokes That Make No Sense

1. I told my pillow a joke last night. It still hasn’t stopped snoring.
2. My plants are rooting for me. Literally, they have roots.
3. The fridge is running. Better go catch it.
4. I opened a bakery. I kneaded the dough.
5. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
6. I had a job at a calendar factory. But I got fired for taking too many days off.
7. The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
8. I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
9. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
10. I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.

Dumb One-Liner Jokes

1. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
2. Velcro—what a rip-off.
3. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
4. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
5. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
7. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
8. The guy who invented the door knocker won the no-bell prize.
9. I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
10. I put my phone in airplane mode. Now it won’t stop flying around.

Stupid Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the teddy bear skip dessert? It was stuffed.
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
3. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
4. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crummy.
5. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
7. Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? Because they might crack up.
8. Where do cows go on vacation? Moo York.
9. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
10. Why was the broom late? It swept in.

Funny but Stupid Jokes

1. I used to think I was indecisive. Now I’m not too sure.
2. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
3. I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk five miles every day.
4. I have a joke about construction. But I’m still working on it.
5. I used to be a banker. Then I lost interest.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. I tried writing with a broken pencil. It was pointless.
8. I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang. But it came back to me.
9. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.

Random Silly Jokes

1. Do I run? Yes, out of patience.
2. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
3. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
4. I burned 1,200 calories yesterday. I left my food in the oven.
5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
6. I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
8. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
9. Can February March? No, but April May.
10. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.

Corny Stupid Jokes to Lighten the Mood

1. I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it just clicked.
2. I called my dog “Ten Miles.” So I can say I walk Ten Miles a day.
3. I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
4. The scissors and I broke up. It just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
5. I once swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat ever.
6. If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
7. I told my lamp a joke. It was light humor.
8. My mirror and I had a fight. It said, “You reflect poorly.”
9. I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
10. I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.

Lame Jokes That Actually Work

1. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
2. I once had a job as a professional cricket impersonator. It was a bit of a bug.
3. I’m terrified of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
4. I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won’t stop crashing.
5. The cemetery is the dead center of town.
6. I got a job at the bakery. I kneaded dough.
7. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
8. I asked the waiter if my soup would be long. He said, “No, it’ll be round.”
9. I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
10. I told my dog a secret. Now I’m barking mad.

Stupid Jokes with Smart Punchlines

1. Einstein developed a theory about space. It was about time.
2. I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
3. I asked the photon if it needed a bag. It said, “No, I’m traveling light.”
4. I’d tell you a joke about sodium. But Na.
5. Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
6. The programmer got stuck in the shower. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
7. A neutron walks into a bar. Asks, “How much for a drink?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
8. Why did the physics teacher break up with biology? There was no chemistry.
9. Two atoms meet. One says, “I lost an electron!” The other says, “Are you positive?”
10. I asked my computer for a joke. It said 404: Humor Not Found.

Play on Words: Stupid Puns That Work

1. I’m reading a book on glue. I just can’t put it down.
2. I used to be a baker. I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.
4. I gave up my seat to a blind person. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
5. I fell for the elevator girl. We had our ups and downs.
6. I named my cat “Nothing”. So every time it gets lost, I say “Nothing is missing.”
7. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
8. I once made a pun about carpentry. It nailed the punchline.
9. The magician got so mad, he pulled his hare out.
10. I’d tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.

So-Stupid-They’re-Funny Dad Jokes

1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
3. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
4. I used to work for a blanket company. But it folded.
5. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
6. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow.
7. Why was the broom late? It overswept.
8. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Short Dumb Jokes That Hit Quick

1. I told my dog a joke. It pawsed.
2. I couldn’t trust the stairs. Always looked down on me.
3. I got a job at the orange juice factory. I got canned – couldn’t concentrate.
4. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
5. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around.
6. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
7. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
8. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
9. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
10. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

Clean Stupid Jokes for All Ages

1. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
7. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
8. Why did the bicycle stand by itself? It was two-tired.
9. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
10. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

Brain-Freezing Stupid Jokes

1. I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked, “What’s the word on the street?”
2. I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.
3. I dreamed I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
4. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
5. I used to work at a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
7. The man who invented knock-knock jokes won the “no bell” prize.
8. I got caught stealing a calendar. I got 12 months.
9. I told a joke about a pencil once. There was no point.
10. I once dated an archaeologist. The older I got, the more interested she became.

Lazy and Dumb Jokes for Couch Potatoes

1. I like long walks. Especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
2. I was going to clean my room. But then I got tired just thinking about it.
3. I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.
4. Why don’t I make my bed? I’ll just mess it up again tonight.
5. I don’t snore. I dream I’m a motorcycle.
6. I’m not late. Time is just a social construct.
7. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.
8. I have a six-pack. It’s just hidden under my snacks.
9. I hit the gym today. I drove past it on the way to pizza.
10. Resting is important. That’s why I practice it so often.

Stupid Food Jokes for Your Appetite

1. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
2. Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Because he’s a fungi.
3. What’s a potato’s favorite game? Hot potato.
4. Why did the banana go to school? To learn how to split.
5. Why did the peanut get kicked out of school? It was acting nuts.
6. I made a pun about butter. But it was on a roll.
7. Why did the coffee go to therapy? It couldn’t espresso itself.
8. I started a bakery. The breadwinner of the family.
9. Why are pancakes bad at making decisions? They always flip-flop.
10. Why don’t burgers tell secrets? Too many buns listening.

School-Themed Stupid Jokes

1. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her class was too bright.
2. What do you call a math teacher who’s always on time? Alge-bruh.
3. Why didn’t the pencil do well in school? It wasn’t sharp enough.
4. Why was the book sad? It had too many problems.
5. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? Bookworms.
6. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He was going to high school.
7. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
8. Why did the chalk go to the principal’s office? For drawing too much attention.
9. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.
10. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? He didn’t have the guts.

Animal-Themed Stupid Jokes

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
2. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
3. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To prove it had udder talent.
4. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
5. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
6. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal.
7. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
8. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
9. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
10. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.

Nonsense Jokes That Make No Logic

1. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks.
2. Why do flamingos lift one leg? If they lifted both, they’d fall.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of core strength.
5. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
7. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
8. Why don’t skeletons lie? You can see right through them.
9. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
10. Why did the ghost go to the party? For the boos.

Ridiculously Dumb One-Liner Jokes

1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
3. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
4. I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
5. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
6. My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t.”
7. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.
8. I used to be afraid of hurdles. But I got over it.
9. Velcro. What a rip-off.
10. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

Wacky Jokes for Weird Sense of Humor

1. I once yelled “Marco!” at a blind person. Not my best moment.
2. My pet rock ran away. I guess I took it for granite.
3. If tomatoes are fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
4. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
6. If I had a dollar for every time I got confused, I’d be asking where my money came from.
7. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
8. If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks – it costs an arm and a leg.
9. Some people graduate with honors. I am just honored to graduate.
10. I know they say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Classic Stupid Jokes That Never Get Old

1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke.
2. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
3. Why did the duck get a red card? For fowl play.
4. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
5. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
6. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
7. Why did the teddy bear skip dessert? It was stuffed.
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
9. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
10. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.

Stupid Knock-Knock Jokes to Crack You Up

1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? Cow says moooo.
2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!
4. Knock knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business!
5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police, open up!
7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.
8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!
9. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? No thanks, I prefer Google.
10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a scary movie.

Stupid Puns That Are So Bad They’re Good

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
3. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
4. I opened a bakery. Now I knead dough every day.
5. I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
6. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
7. That bakery burned down. Now the business is toast.
8. I bought a boat because it was for sail.
9. My dog’s name is Five Miles. So I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
10. The duck said to the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Laughably Stupid Jokes About Everyday Life

1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
2. I went to buy camouflage pants. But I couldn’t find any.
3. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
4. I accidentally took my dog’s meds. Don’t worry, I’m just feeling a little ruff.
5. I once gave up coffee. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life.
6. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
8. The fridge light comes on when I open it. It’s the only thing that greets me warmly.
9. I had amnesia once. Or twice.
10. I locked my keys in my car. It made me think outside the box.

Silly Tech and Internet Jokes

1. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
2. How do you comfort a JavaScript bug? You console it.
3. What do computers eat for snacks? Microchips.
4. Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It lost its sense of touch.
5. How do robots pay for things? With cache.
6. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
7. What’s a computer’s favorite beatle song? “Help!”
8. Why did the coder get kicked out of school? He kept taking classes.
9. Why did the hacker break up with his girlfriend? She had too many cookies.
10. Why was the laptop acting so moody? It had a byte out of its motherboard.

Totally Absurd Stupid Jokes That Make No Sense

1. I put my phone in airplane mode. But it didn’t fly.
2. I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
3. I gave my dog a bath. Now he smells like wet regrets.
4. I stapled myself to my chair. Just trying to stay put.
5. My mirror broke. Now I only see half of myself.
6. I bought a ladder to nowhere. Still didn’t get ahead in life.
7. I wore my slippers outside. The driveway felt betrayed.
8. I shouted into the fridge. I needed some cold feedback.
9. I spilled alphabet soup. Now I’m eating my words.
10. I put a blanket over my computer. So it could sleep mode properly.

Short and Dumb Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At

1. Why was six scared of seven? Because seven eight nine.
2. Why did the chicken sit on a computer? To hatch an email.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
4. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
5. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
6. What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.
7. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
8. What’s orange and goes “buzz”? An electric carrot.
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
10. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

Insanely Lame Jokes to Tell Your Friends

1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
2. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.
3. Why do bananas never get lonely? Because they hang out in bunches.
4. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
5. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
6. Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
7. Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep.
8. Why did the donut go to school? To get smarter holes.
9. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
10. Why was the calendar so popular? It had a lot of dates.

Cringe-Worthy Stupid Jokes That Still Work

1. I once saw a microwave and waved back.
2. I put my GPS in pirate mode. Now it keeps saying “turn starboard.”
3. I tried writing with a broken pencil. But it was pointless.
4. I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
5. I named my dog “Five Miles.” Now I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
6. My vacuum broke. It sucks even more now.
7. I used to be a baker. But I couldn’t make enough dough.
8. My sofa and I are in a long-term relationship.
9. I told my plants I loved them. They still died.
10. I joined a circus as a human cannonball. It was a blast.

Final Batch of Laughably Dumb Jokes

1. Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
2. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries.
3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
4. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
5. Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up pants.
6. Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice.
7. Why don’t calendars ever gossip? They’re always too dated.
8. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
9. Why don’t spiders use cell phones? They prefer the web.
10. What happens when you eat aluminum foil? You sheet metal.

Conclusion: Keep the Stupid Laughs Going

Laughter is universal, and sometimes the dumbest jokes are the ones that tickle us the most. This mega-collection of 450+ stupid jokes proves that you don’t need high IQ humor to get people giggling. Whether you love silly wordplay, corny puns, or just ridiculous one-liners, there’s something in this list for everyone. Bookmark this page, share it with friends, and keep those laughs rolling—because stupid jokes will always have a smart purpose: making you smile.